Why Narcissists Choose Certain Victims (And Avoid Others) Narcissists don’t choose partners or friends at random — they choose strategically. They target people who offer qualities they can exploit, and they avoid anyone who threatens their control. They’re especially drawn to empathic people. Those who care deeply, forgive easily, and want to see the good in others are ideal targets, because empathy is something a narcissist uses, not appreciates. They also seek out people with strong loyalty.